One Definition of Family (or How Tom Petty Built a Family and Took Me To Church)

UPDATE
3/27/2018
It is with great sadness that I tell you that Stan died today at 3:17pm. May all who loved him be surrounded with love.

4 February 2018

People may be surprised by how many intersections there are between my work as a chaplain, bereavement counselor, and stage manager. All require upholding confidentiality, remaining calm in stressful situations, having an ability to think outside the box and being able to multi-task--often in chaotic environments. 

Working at the Parnelli Awards

People on tour face a unique level of stressors-they are away from their families, sleeping erratically, working long hours, eating food that may not be the most healthful, and traveling with other band and crew members-usually in tight quarters. They often spend more time with their fellow band and crew members than they do their own families, becoming a second family, with all the dynamics that family life can bring. Sometimes I find myself tapping my chaplain skills in various ways, most often by simply listening as people process what’s on their hearts.

Life on the road can sometimes be challenging. Bands get all the attention and “glory”, but they couldn’t achieve any of it without their crew, who, if they are doing their job right, aren’t noticed by the audiences at all. If the audience has a fantastic time, the goal has been achieved. Seasoned musicians know this, and no one knew it more than Tom Petty.

In 2016, I was stage managing the Parnelli Awards (then held in Las Vegas). Richard Fernandez, Tom Petty’s long time tour manager, was presented with a lifetime achievement award. Tom Petty and all the Heartbreakers flew out in their jet, at their own expense, to honor their colleague.  

Tom and Richard

I never know what to expect when I work with bands. Particularly those as successful as Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. When I met their transport from the airport, I was immediately struck by how much love and appreciation they expressed for their tour manager, Richard. It was clear they were there for him, and not to self-promote in any way.  Their crew was part of their family, and they were genuinely excited to see him be honored. 

Tom, Richard, and Terry Lowe, President of Timeless Communications (who produce the Parnelli's)

I wasn’t sure what their needs were going to be, however I was ready to do all I could to ensure the evening went smoothly for everyone. What I didn’t expect, was for Tom to take the stage to honor Richard, and beautifully express something that I have felt my whole life. Music has always been my church. I’ve tried to explain it to people, but never articulated it well. Tom did.  (see clip) 

https://m.box.com/shared_item/https%3A%2F%2Fapp.box.com%2Fs%2F4hth7m801w76uerclfqqbk914uyocjlm/view/265423503040

(This link takes you to the video clip of Tom Petty's speech in Dropbox- it's a largish file, so can't be uploaded here, unfortunately) 

Tom Speaking at the Parnelli Awards

His words: 

“...and so you know, every time I’ve been to a stage and we go out and the lights go down and you know, the music starts and the crowd comes up and then this sort of incredible bond of energy comes out and the band and the music and the audience intertwine and there’s just this cosmic beam and I believe god is in that beam where the audience and the band intertwine.”

Together, when it’s done right, the band, the crew, and the audience tap into our interconnectedness and it becomes a sacred experience. Tom knew that his crew helped make that possible. 

Right now, (and with permission) I have concerning news: one of Tom’s crew members has been fighting for his life in a hospital in Nevada. Stan Green-Tom’s Lighting Designer, has been in the ICU in Henderson, NV, admitted with septic shock, pancreatitis, and pneumonia. When he was admitted, all of his organs were shutting down.  His kidney function was at 1%. 

Stanley A. Green, Lighting Designer and member of the TP&TH Crew/Family

Stan working his lighting magic during TP&TH Performance at Bottlerock, Napa, CA

Stan at Bottlerock, Napa, CA

A little over 2 months ago, Stan made the difficult and brave decision to stop drinking (73 days sober now), so this is on top of what have already been challenging times, especially so when you factor in grieving Tom.

I’m fairly certain that if he were still alive, Tom would gather the Heartbreaker family to rally around Stan and provide him with the love and support that can make such a critical difference in healing during challenging medical circumstances.

If you’re reading this, would you consider sending Stan some good energy and better yet, a postcard? Those kind of visual reminders are so important, and a postcard only takes a minute. Can you imagine how good he’d feel to see his hospital room covered in postcards full of well wishes?!? He is showing improvement, and my hope is this kind of support will speed up his recovery.

The mailing address is:

Stan Green - Patient

IMPORTANT: Please do NOT call Stan. He cannot talk on the phone and needs all of his energy to get well. Your postcards will cheer him up - phone calls will most definitely hinder his recovery.

Maybe one day soon, I’ll see you “in church”. In the meantime, thank you in advance for dropping a postcard in the mailbox. Feel free to share this. 

Warmly,

Suzi