It is with a heavy heart that I write this post. In doing so, I am
honoring the last wishes of a patient as best as I can, while upholding
HIPAA regulations regarding privacy.
A patient died yesterday.
They were regularly houseless, although recently were able to stay in an
SRO hotel, which was better than the street. This patient and I spent a
lot of time together in the weeks leading up to their death. Initially
they were pretty shut down, but soon they opened up and shared from
their very big and beautiful heart.
Their dying wish was for me
to tell everyone to "love one another and to not be mean to each other".
They specifically asked me to share that the houseless "are human
beings, just like you, and they deserve human contact, whether a "hello"
or even just to look them in the eye". They said that the hardest thing
- the thing that made them withdraw into a shell of themselves for
years was that days and sometimes weeks would go by without people even
looking at them.
They asked that "even if we don't look so good,
please look at us. Even a look or a hello could make all the difference
in the world". They shared that I was the first person to hold their
hand or provide any non-medical contact in over 12 years. 12 YEARS! This
shattered my heart.
They also wanted me to say their name to
you so they wouldn't be forgotten. Unfortunately, HIPPA laws will not
allow me to do that, but I can promise that they won't be forgotten--I
will never forget this patient, or their story which included sharing
their first memory of being put into foster care at age 2 and after a
series of foster homes and group homes, being put to the street at age
18 where they lived ever since. Their story is repeated daily and in a
country of such abundance, it is unconscionable that anyone should have
to live a life as they did.
I knew I wouldn't be able to say
their name here so instead, I shouted their name into the wind at a
deserted part of the beach today at sunset. May they find peace and may
we all take this person's dying wish to heart.
Addendum: I have been asked if it's ok so share this. It would be
lovely if you did--sharing their final wish and inviting people to see
the humanity of the houseless would be a lovely way to help honor this
patient's final wish. Thank you so much for caring and helping me to
honor them as well. <3